How to Create a Good Death


Again on the topic of death and life (sorry to those who are groaning right now, but I’m a pathological contemplator of the human condition).

When I went to Edmonton for my transplant it all happened very fast. I had about three days to prepare and leave my girls and family to a possible new life or, as I had been warned many times, a possible death.

Most of my extended family was away, but one thing that struck me was that it seemed completely useless to me at the time to engage in long drawn out good-byes.

I reasoned I would either see them again or I wouldn’t, and nothing that could be said in that last ten minutes would make any difference.


Heartless of me? Probably. But I had hit my limit of what I could emotionally take on board. I knew what I had ahead of me to cope with and I could not deal with one more thing. I knew I was going to have to say good-bye to my daughters and not lose my shit. I could not do any other good-byes besides that. I.just.could.not..

Slowly, it sunk in that we build relationships and indeed a LIFE not in those final few moments but in how we spend every day.

I always have that thought in the back of my head now. We create a good death by creating a good life, and a life can only be created in the present.

So go out there and create quality moments with quality people. Don’t bank on leaving it all for the end.